I ended up back in town yesterday afternoon to pick a couple more bits up and get this - i got frisked by the law when i left New Look!!!! WTF - I was mortified and the embarrassment was beyond belief - I only went in to buy a pair of novelty socks and as i left and started walking up the street i heard a someone shouting out 'oi you, stop' of course i carried on walking, never in a million years did i think it was me being apprehended, but it was... I was taken to one side, told there was reason to beleive i had taken something without paying, asked to produce a receipt for the goods i had purchased and then asked to turn out my pockets.  Apparently one of the shop assistants saw me put something into one of my pockets and alerted security - yes she had quite rightly seen me put something into one of my pockets, my bloody gloves!  This whole debarcle took nearly 20 minutes, in the middle of my local town centre with hundreds of people milling around, all staring at me, i know the police have got their job to do, but it was a bit lame to say the least.  This is the store that i had my purse stolen from in the changing rooms a couple of years back, i think it's about time they got bloody CCTV in there! 

So much for me going into town to listen to the chrismassy music and lift my spirits... i felt awful by the time i got back home, and i couldn't get back quick enough.

Needless to say i avoided going into any shops when i went through town this afternoon.  Today i feel really low, i'll be really glad to just get the next week out of the way and start the new year and i think this year i will break with my usual tradition and actually go out New Years eve, i don't know where or with who, but i want to draw a line under the past 12 months and get my shit together.  I've done some soul searching the past few days and if i'm being brutally honest with myself i am sick of my own company now and ready for another relationship, i'll probably regret it, but, i've been on my own nearly 18 months now and it's been a long lonely road, i'm 40 in March, time for new beginnings and i want the next 12 months to be filled with good times and happy memories, but above all else, i want someone to create these good times and happy memories with, a bit of a tall order really seing as i don't do anything or go anywhere to meet anyone! Maybe i'll meet someone New Year..??  Mind you meeting someone pissed out of their head down the local pub isn't really what i'm looking for, i don't want a boozer in my life, or a junkie either, just a nice guy without stacks of emotional baggage, and most importantly, someone that will accept me for who i am, not who i was...  I hate all that 'getting to know you' stuff as well, learning to trust again, how honest are you and how soon..?? If i think about it too much, i know i won't do it, just tie myself up in knots over it all, then slink back into my dark world of singledom again.  I'm a typical Piscean when it comes to relationships, a bit of a romantic dreamer i guess, but i love all that knight in shining armour stuff, someone coming to sweep me off my feet and i'd love to be part of a 'happily ever after' - wouldn't we all...  My sister i went out with a couple of weeks back might be up for a night out, she popped round this afternoon and mentioned maybe going out sometime in the next couple of weeks, it wouldn't really be wise to go trundling off into to town by myself on new years eve, hell bent on seeing the back of this year and welcoming in the next and i'd most likely get all maudlin and depressed and wind up back home in tears feeling sorry for myself by 10pm!  New Years eve to me is a time when couples, people in love,  hold hands and huddle together on a cold night, listen to the chimes together and look forward to making their plans for the coming year - time suspended briefly while those 12 chimes ring out, no worries, just happy smiling faces, full of hope and anticipation - dream on, maybe one day, there's no harm in having a dream is there...